You took away my kindness
Sculpted my pliable heart into stone
Drenched yourself in my sweetness and left me alone
But would not
Could not let me go -
Not until each and every drop of life and love
Was hammered out of me.
Now I'm different.
The ways you can tell it's not me
And yet, still is me
Are both visible and unseen
Within as well as without me.
The way I long to be loved by all
How I jump at every explosion
My reticence to stand in the light
In case I'm recognised -
The fear of living is easing
And I see it really is me
Living and succeeding
And loving again.
(Written a few years ago now, but I still remember how this felt)