A couple of years ago I read in the local paper that the council were proposing to charge rates based on the view from your garden. This prompted me to write this:
If I were charged a fee
Each time I sit here under this tree
To look upon the view
From my backyard
I would surely be bankrupt now.
But would I be given recompense
Every time I look over the fence
Into the busy, noisy street
And for each late night reveller
Who stops in my front garden for a kiss
Or even a piss
Whilst awaiting the noisy, door-slamming,
Fuckin' spouting taxi
They take into town.
And what price the bus trip into town
To shop on a Saturday
Only to realise that
There's no bus back.
(this was written whilst we were still lucky enough to have a bus service in Southwick - albeit a totally unsuitable one for anyone other than those trying to get into town in the morning and back again before six in the evening. Now we have even lost that service - supposedly because it wasn't financially viable. It may have worked if the bus services had been more user-friendly.)