Chapter
Forty-three
A
faint drumming sound competed with the thumping of the blood pumping
through her head. Karen opened her eyes. The light in the room was
grey - washed out. The air was stale, thick and hot as she struggled
to sit up. It seemed that her head was too heavy to lift from the
pillow. She was in her bed but memories of recent events were
blurred. And what was that drumming sound - getting louder as she
became more alert? The rain. Rain thundering against the roof and
hammering on the window-pane, forcing Karen to remember that she was
trapped in a nightmare.
The
peace of forgetfulness was swept away as reality hit her hard in the
stomach, twisting and churning the fear back into its place.
She
listened. Craned her neck to hear whether she was alone in the
house. She glanced at the clock wondering whether it was morning or
evening. Neither. It was nearly midday.
She
couldn’t work out how long she’d been asleep. The dreams had
been many, she sensed but all had shifted out of reach as soon as
she’d woken. Listening again she could hear the sound of someone
moving about in the kitchen. Peter, she guessed.
The
thud of the door knocker lifted her spirits. She struggled out of
bed and stumbled to the window. She could just see the top of a
man’s head. Dr. Wright.
Karen
made her way to the bedroom door and opened it. She knew she had to
make a good impression on him. This could be the way out for her.
But as she reached to top of the stairs she saw Peter standing in the
hall below. He was standing quietly, making no attempt to open the
door. Karen froze, then crept back along the passageway and let
herself back into the bedroom, closing the door gently behind her.
She went to the window, now wide awake and lifting the net curtains,
tapped on the glass, hoping that she could attract the doctor’s
attention without Peter hearing from below.
Dr.
Wright knocked on the door again but didn’t look up. The noise of
the storm was too much. Karen banged on the window, louder this
time, praying that he would hear. He turned to walk away.
Karen
knocked again and screamed out in panic, ‘Doctor, please, I’m up
here! Please look up!’ She sobbed in frustration as he continued
walking down the street, the rain dripping from his sleek, black
hair.
‘Karen,
you’re awake.’ Peter stood watching her from the doorway.
‘That
was Dr. Wright at the door,’ Karen sobbed. ‘Why didn’t you let
him in?’
‘Was
it? I didn’t hear anything. Are you sure you weren’t dreaming
it?’
‘I
saw him. From the window.’ She stared at him. ‘What are you
trying to do?’
‘I’m
just trying to look after you.’ He smiled. ‘Now come on, back
to bed with you.’
He
took her arm and steered her towards the bed. She sat on the edge
knowing that the best thing to do would be to go along with what he
wanted. She was locked in the house and he had the only keys.
She
felt so tired.
‘Just
stay there and rest,’ he was saying. ‘I’ll be downstairs if
you want anything. Now be sure you call me.’ He left her alone
again.
Karen’s
thoughts raced. She could hear him moving about downstairs and
wondered what he was doing and what her next move could be. It
seemed so hopeless.
She
was still wondering how to get out of this mess when she heard the
front door again. Hoping that it was the doctor coming back she
pulled herself up from the bed and across the floor to the window.
She craned her neck to see who it was. Margaret.
‘Thank
God,’ she thought, banging on the window furiously. Something made
Margaret look up. Karen waved in desperation.
‘Please,’
she mouthed. ‘Make Peter let you in.’
Margaret
turned back to the door and knocked again. She was shouting through
the door at Peter.
‘Will
you let me in?’ she called. ‘Peter. It’s Mum. Let me in -
please.’
Karen
moved to the bedroom door and went out into the hallway. She stood
at the top of the stairs, watching Peter below.
‘What
are you going to do?’ she asked. ‘Stop Margaret from coming in
too? You can’t keep me a prisoner for ever, you know.’
‘I’m
not keeping you a prisoner,’ he spat back. ‘I am letting her in,
you silly girl.’ He went to the door, took the key from his pocket
and turned it in the lock.
Margaret
pushed past Peter and rushed towards Karen who had made her way down
the stairs. She took Karen’s hands and looked into her face.
‘Are
you alright?’ she asked then turned to Peter without waiting for an
answer. ‘What on earth is going on?’ She glared at him, waiting
for an answer.
‘Nothing’s
going on,’ Peter said at last. ‘Karen’s not been well and I’ve
been looking after her, that’s all.’
Margaret
looked back at Karen. ‘Well?’ she asked again.
Tears
were filling Karen’s eyes. She stood, unable to say anything
whilst Peter was there, watching her. ‘I’m alright,’ she said
finally.
Margaret
gave her a long hard look and sighed. She let go of Karen and began
peeling off her coat. She turned to Peter.
‘Well
are you going to ask me in properly?’ she asked. ‘What about
making me a coffee?’
‘Come
into the lounge,’ Karen said, leading the way into the front room.
Peter
stood for a while, then went into the kitchen to make the coffee.
Karen
and Margaret sat together on the sofa, alone for a few precious
moments.
‘Now,
Karen,’ said Margaret quietly. ‘How are you really?’
Karen
glanced towards the door leading into the hall. ‘I’m alright,’
she whispered. ‘But Peter’s making me out to be an invalid. He
won’t listen to me when I say I’m OK. I am OK - really.’
Margaret
sighed.
‘You
don’t believe me either.’ Karen’s heart dipped.
‘I
do,’ Margaret assured her. She went on quickly. ‘Listen Karen,
I came round to talk to you about finding your real mother but maybe
it’s not the right time to talk about it.’ She looked towards
the door.
‘You
don’t think Peter will approve.’
‘You
seem to have enough on your plate at the moment,’ said Margaret.
‘What with this baby and everything.’
Before
Karen could answer, Peter was back with three steaming mugs of coffee
on a tray.
‘There
you are Mum.’ He handed Margaret a mug.
‘Thank
you.’ She took the mug and sipped the coffee.
He
handed a mug to Karen. ‘Here you are darling,’ he smiled at her.
Karen
hesitated, then she took the mug from him and held it in her hands.
Peter
sat back in the armchair. ‘What have you two been talking about,’
he asked.
Margaret
looked at Karen, then back at him before speaking. She took a
breath.
‘I’ve
been trying to find out about Karen’s real mother,’ she said. ‘I
went to the Social Workers in Fareham.' She looked at Karen. ‘They
weren’t very helpful really but I found out that if you write to
them they’ll be able to give you all the information they have on
file. They may not have much more than we already know, so it’s
best not to get your hopes up too much.’
She
looked back at Peter. He was glaring at her.
‘I
hope you have no objections to this, Peter? I think it will help
Karen through this - difficult time.’
‘I
have no objections,’ Peter said. ‘Why should I object? I don’t
know why you think I would.’ He smiled sweetly at her.
‘Good,’
said Margaret. She turned back to Karen. ‘Would you like me to
help you with the letter?’
‘I’m
not sure,’ Karen faltered. ‘I mean, I don’t know what I want
any more.’
It
was the sneer on Peter’s face that made up her mind.
‘OK.
Yes, I would like that,’ she said. She looked at Peter. ‘If
you don’t mind?’ She was hoping that he’d leave them alone to
work on the letter together, giving her precious time with Margaret
without him breathing down her neck.
‘Like
I said, why should I mind?’ he repeated.
‘Aren’t
you going to work today?’ Margaret asked. ‘I could sit with
Karen. Keep her company.’
Karen
felt the anger rising again. ‘I don’t need looking after. And
please stop talking about me as if I wasn’t here! I am not an
invalid, or stupid!’
‘No
of course you’re not,’ said Margaret. She looked at Peter. ‘So
you don’t need to stay here. Perhaps you should get off to work.’
‘Are
you trying to get rid of me?’ he laughed.
‘No.
But I would like some time alone with Karen.’
‘Well,
for your information, I’m not going to work this week,’ he said.
‘I’ve taken some time off so I won’t be going far.’ He got
up. ‘But I know when I’m in the way. I’ll be upstairs if you
want me.’
Peter
was half way up the stairs before he called down as an afterthought,
‘Just remember whose mother you are.’